In the lead-up to the launch of this blog, The House that Elle Built,

I sent out a daily communication to my subscribers.

In it, I shared 25 thoughts, ideas, and intentions that I had for this blog as a way for you all to learn more about me.

I’ve compiled them here for you now 🙂

Focus on what you COULD be doing, not what you THINK you should be doing.

DAY 25

 My life at 33 looks different than I imagined it would. People I thought would be around forever are gone. Priorities and goals have shifted. Most of the boxes I imagined having checked off at this point are still glaringly empty.

I’ve spent the past few years thinking that I had a specific purpose in my life and that I was on the path to pursuing it, but I’ve chosen not to think that way anymore. This is why:

Biology dictates that our only directive as humans is to survive; to live.

At their core, most religions tell us that our only directive is to love.

If our greatest force(s) can simplify it down to these core concepts, living and loving, why do I overcomplicate it?

Oftentimes we’re so obsessed with what we think we’re supposed to be doing in our lives that we forget to actually live our lives.

I don’t want to do that anymore. I am a wonderfully blessed and privileged person who was lucky enough to be born in this day and age with good health, relative affluence, a wonderful community of friends and family that have my best interest at heart, and the ability to act on ‘practically’ any whim that comes into my head. I want to stop focusing on what I ‘should’ be doing and instead focus on what I ‘could’ be doing. I want to take radical action to live life on my terms, become the best version of myself possible, and spend my time loving and creating beautiful things.

That’s what The House that Elle Built is intended to be.

I Love and Accept EVERYTHING about Myself | I Consistently Strive to Improve

DAY 24

 Every year on my birthday, I try to start the day with a hike. I like to climb to the top of some peak and survey the city like it’s my kingdom though usually, the process of getting there is tedious. I’m never as in shape as I think I am, and for some insane reason, this year I decided that my over 30-year-old ass could handle a night out drinking before this event took place. It was rough…but I got there.

When I reach the peak, it’s usually an emotional moment; I’m exhausted at that point from the climb (which takes longer every year), sweating because its August in Phoenix, and swearing to myself that this is the year I take getting fit seriously, and then a certain song comes on, and a breeze comes in, and I can swear that it feels like God is speaking to me. It’s no longer sweat pouring down my face but tears too.

This has happened every year for the past 6 years at least. It’s like a ritual I must perform before I can properly usher in the next year in my life and after I have my little moment, I stretch and thank my body for once again carrying me places I need to go, I look around me and wonder at nature (even the little patch of nature I was in surrounded by the city), and I journal. Here’s a snippet from this year’s entry:

Intentions for my 33rd year

Embrace duality –

• I love and accept everything about myself. I consistently work to improve myself.
• I seek love in others through community and relationships. I know that the greatest love is with myself.
• I embrace luxury and ease. I work hard.
• I live completely in my freedom. I am disciplined and consistent.

Life isn’t that serious. The only purpose there is, is that which we prescribe to ourselves. I’m going to love, enjoy God’s beauty, and try my best to maintain it for those to come.

Life is pretty serious. It’s a gift; a privilege. Wasting it is unpardonable.

I love the concept of duality in this sense. It encourages us to embrace all aspects, even those that seem in opposition to one another, and accept them as what is. Without assigning judgment. It gives us permission to be and frees our path towards growth.

My happy thought today is that by accepting those opposing things about myself, I can get past the self-judgment that goes along with it.

A Segment of the RAINBOW which I Have Clutched

DAY 23

 What is it you’re really working for? When it really comes down to it, beyond paying bills, what is the point of all the effort you’re putting in?

My answer to this question changes often. I tell myself that I want to live a life of ease, that I never want money to be an issue, or that I want the freedom to live life on my own terms…which is all true, BUT it goes much deeper than that.

This excerpt from Thoreau’s “Walden” hits closest to the answer for me. The moments in my life when I feel the most blessed and highly favored, are the ones I least expected. The ones where value cannot be manufactured. It’s the surge of affection I feel when my dog comes in to ‘check on me’ by pushing her nose against my leg, or the way words fail me at the sight of any full moon or AZ sunset.

I’m working towards building a life that allows me to invite more moments like that in; to clutch a little more stardust.

Your Mindset is a POWERFUL Thing. Protect It At All Costs.

DAY 22

I cut out social media a while ago. I limited and then eventually completely cut out the news. I stopped watching certain shows and stopped interacting with certain people. I did all of this because my anxiety levels were through the roof. I had no inner peace and it was starting to show.

I felt bad about all of this for a while; like I was one of ’those people’ too delicate for the world, but honestly…we’re all too delicate for THIS world. We aren’t meant to live this way, with constant overexposure to bad news, false social comparisons, and limited accountability for things that are said or done.

I choose to no longer feel bad about withdrawing. I want to be a responsible and well-informed citizen, but I am no good to anyone if I am not good internally.

Checking out gave me the time and space that I desperately needed to cope with and process everything that was going on in my life and going on in the world. I am by no means on the other side of it, but I definitely have a better mindset and now as I venture to dip my toe back into the world, I feel more empowered. I feel like I can do even greater things.

What SELF-LOVE Looks Like to Me

DAY 21

What does self-love/ self-care look like to you?

To me, there’s the obvious stuff:

• It looks like drinking water, eating well, and moving my body daily.
• It looks like canceling plans when my schedule feels overwhelming.
• It looks like outsourcing work where I can – hiring someone to deep clean my house, and having my groceries delivered.
• It looks like putting effort into my appearance before I leave the house.
• It looks like actively checking in with people I love.

Then there’s the less obvious stuff:

• It looks like sometimes forcing myself to keep plans.
• It looks like deleting my DoorDash account for the millionth (and hopefully last) time.
• It looks like prioritizing getting enough sleep over staying up late to finish work or watch tv.
• It looks like having difficult conversations rather than keeping it all pent up.
• It looks like sticking to a budget and not TREATIN’ YO SELF so @#*$& much!

When you strive for self-love, you’re shooting to give yourself everything you need to be a whole and complete person. What’s your self-love/self-care routine been missing?

I Deserve a Life of LUXURY

DAY 20

If we let it, life can really beat us down. We’re programmed to be productive, to work hard, to stay busy, to not spend our money on ‘frivolous’ things, to prioritize others over ourselves…so much so that taking the time to do something for ourselves is frowned upon. It makes us feel guilty.

At least this is how I grew up feeling. It took me a long time, and some pretty big life events to make me change my way of thinking, but now that I’m here I choose to make myself my highest priority, and in that line of thinking…

I deserve a life of luxury.

…and you do too!

The great news is that this can be achieved without emptying your bank account.

Here are just a few examples of how:

• Buy new towels – For me, the fluffier the better, and luckily fluffiness doesn’t have to mean higher-priced.
• Develop an extensive moisturizing routine – It doesn’t have to be an expensive lotion, just make sure water is the first ingredient.
• Buy fresh flowers – Trader Joe’s is great for this if you don’t want to go bankrupt.
• Light your candles – I’m guilty of this one; saving them for special occasions, but every day really, should be a special occasion.
• Adopt slow mornings – You may not have the luxury of starting your work day when you want, but you can always get up earlier to ease into it.

Give a few of these a try and watch life get a little nicer.

Love is a FOUR-LEGGED Word

DAY 19

I spent most of the day before sitting down to write this email, vacuuming dog hair off of…EVERYTHING! This time of year all of the hair on my dog’s body apparently decides, ‘eh we don’t wanna live here anymore’, and sheds with an energy only comparable to the dog herself every day when the mailman comes by.

When I say there is hair everywhere, I do not lie. I find it on my clothes, in my hair, on my bed (which she’s NOT allowed

 on, so I’ve got some suspicions there), and even on my food. It makes me wonder how much dog hair I’ve consumed unknowingly. It makes me wonder at what point will my home be more dog hair than house. Just when I reach peak frustration with the situation and with the animal that has caused it, I look down and see this little face staring back at me.

Ugh. 😍🥺 She knows exactly what she’s doing. There’s no point even trying to be upset. I don’t have any capacity for anger when it comes to her; I see this face and forgive her immediately for the havoc she’s wreaked on my home. Isn’t it a shame that it’s so hard to forgive people as easily?

Anyways…I accept this dog hair problem because as long as it exists it means that I’ve got the pup responsible for it.

It also means I can justify buying a Dyson.

More Ways to PROTECT Your PEACE

DAY 18

I touched on it earlier, but just to drill the point in. Peace of mind is SO important.

Here are a few more tips to achieve it:

• Do not engage in drama, gossip, or petty arguments.
• Do not argue with people determined to misunderstand you.
• Remove your triggers. If baby posts on IG make you feel some kind of way, unfollow.
• Allow your emotions to exist without labels. They are not good or bad. They just are.
• Let your home be a place of refuge. Don’t allow just any energy into it.

Also, remember that keeping your cool and maintaining a positive mindset is always a work in progress. If you find you still things get to you, forgive yourself and try again. 

Would Your 17-YEAR-OLD Self Like The Adult You?

DAY 17

My 17-year-old self was the absolute coolest. She was so smart and funny; a little goofy, extremely wide-eyed and naive.. and extremely determined.

She had features that were slightly too big for her skinny little face, and dreams that were way too big for the small little town she grew up in. She had an insane amount of confidence.

I think about that girl a lot, especially when I’m being hard on myself. What would the 17-year-old version of myself think about me now?

What’s funny is that I already have the answer at hand.

When I graduated high school I wrote a letter to my future self. I read it every couple of years and have a really good laugh (and a cry too not gonna lie) because my 17-year-old self was also SO compassionate and wise. Here’s a little excerpt:

😍🥺🥰

I think she’d be proud of me. I want to work hard to keep her proud.

FRIENDSHIP is an Action Word

DAY 16

Making friends past 30 is so so hard. Keeping them can be even harder.

It’s an unfortunate truth that people grow apart as they get older. Jobs, relationships, locations, and even personalities change. Keeping friendships intact with all of this other chaos going on is almost impossible…but only almost.

My closest friends have withstood the test of time. They’ve repeatedly shown me that they want me in their lives, and I try really hard to do the same. I know that they have nothing but good intentions and wishes for me. I want nothing more than to see them happy and successful, whatever that may look like for them. Even when we’ve got a million different things going on in our lives, we take the time to check in on one another. They are the exact definition of ‘FRIENDSHIP as an action word’.

I don’t really have anything insightful to say here; just how lucky I feel to have such lovely people in my life, and that on a list of happy thoughts and things that make me smile, I’ve gotta include my girls 🙂

ART is an Action Word

DAY 15

I use to sing all the time. I never aspired to be a singer, but loved being in a choir. Something about how multiple voices combined to make one sound.

I use to dance all the time too. I was on teams in high school, and to this day still take classes, though these days it’s more as a workout than anything. When I was in my 20s though I wanted to be a ballerina and even though I didn’t start as a toddler like most professionals, I was convinced I could do it.

I also played the piano. And the saxophone. And the guitar. I taught myself how to read music and would spend hours plonk-plonking away pretending I was Mozart. One of my happiest memories is the day my daddy brought home a baby grande.

I haven’t done most of these things in a long time. I think as we get older, we like to make the excuse that we don’t have time for it anymore, but honestly, I don’t think that’s why I stopped.

When I was younger, I didn’t care how good I was. I only cared that I loved doing these things. As an adult, the boring, awful, dream-killing grown-up voice in my head, tells me that this isn’t an appropriate way to spend my time.

“You have no aptitude for greatness, so why pursue it?”

“Even if you are great, your chances at success are not, so why pursue it?”

Here are some words I like that I think answer that question:

​I want to tap back into the things that make me happy. I think a part of that is recognizing that they may not be things I’m good at.

I’m going to do them anyway 🙂

What I Choose to NO LONGER Allow In My Life

DAY 14

I think there comes a powerful moment in everyone’s life when they realize that they are the main character. The story is their own. They control the narrative. When this moment happened for me, my boundaries suddenly became very clear. So did the terms on which I wanted to live my life.

This list is ever-growing; sometimes items on it shift, and boundaries are blurred. Sometimes I have to sacrifice one for the other. But just having documentation of what I am and am not okay with, I think, has been a great starting point to living the life I want.

Here are the top ten:

1. Shrinking myself

2. Explaining my no’s

3. Rushing

4. Stressing out over things out of my control

5. Negative self-talk

6. Not speaking up when something bothers me

7. Expecting the worst

8. Putting anyone’s feelings before my own

9. Letting anyone talk to me some kind of way

10. Helping people who won’t help themself

What’s on your list?

I BEND So I Don’t BREAK

DAY 13

Every morning I wake up, walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and then spend another 30 minutes stretching. Sometimes I wake up late so the walking gets cut short. Sometimes I don’t have time to walk at all. But I always stretch.

It’s a necessary ritual I’ve built into my day, surrendering my muscles to gravity. Letting go of control.

That’s something I’ve always had a hard time doing and as I got older and life got more complicated, I’d try to hold on tighter. I’d try to force situations. I’d try to force outcomes and the only certain result I would get would be that I ended up anxious, stressed out, and depressed.

I got this tattoo last year as a reminder that I have no control in this life other than how I choose to react. Whenever I am stressed, or feel myself holding on too tight, I look at my wrist and take a deep breath. Then I let it go. I remind myself of the moment in a stretch when I feel like my muscles have reached their max. Instead of tensing up or pulling out, I breathe into it. My muscles surrender and somehow I’m made stronger and more flexible in the process.

I Choose to LIVE My Life While I’m In It

DAY 12

Do you ever feel like you’re behind in life [FIRST NAME GOES HERE]?

It’s a really silly thought, but I admit it’s one I’ve had a lot; especially as I’ve gotten older. When I was in my 20s, 33 seemed like this far-off age when of course I would have my life together. I’d be further along in my career. My multiple businesses would be thriving and providing me the means to attain the elevated lifestyle I would most definitely be living. I’d be married. I’d have kids.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what I thought my life should look like at this point, that I am unable to practice gratitude for the endless things I didn’t count on. Things that have made my life SO much fuller.

I now choose to trust that everything will align in its own time. No living in the past or being anxious about the future. I choose to live my life while I’m in it and make the best decisions for me now. I choose to believe that someone who plans to do big things, cannot expect their timeline to look like everyone else’s.

Letting Go of What You THINK Life Should Look Like

DAY 11

There was a point in my mid-twenties when a ton of responsibility suddenly landed on my shoulders. I can’t exactly pin the date, but I was aware that life had suddenly become much more difficult…and would probably stay that way.

Instead of focusing on my career, moving cities, or traveling around the world and living in other countries, I was making doctor’s appointments and grocery store runs. Trying to convince people to take better care of themselves; making sure bills got paid.

It only escalated. And I tried to travel and date and have a normal ‘20s’ experience, but it was always clouded by things that I honestly felt like I shouldn’t have to be dealing with yet. I had friends whose parents paid for them to all go on family vacations each year, friends whose ONLY concerns were their romantic relationships, friends who had safety nets and fallback plans. For my family, I was the safety net…and I didn’t think it was fair.

At 27, I lost my father and the welfare of my 89-year-old grandmother largely fell on me. That shift was difficult. There was a lot of uncertainty. Then throw in the grief and pain around the whole situation, I still wonder at how her and I got through it.

I do remember though, at that point, letting go of what I thought life should look like and embracing what it was. And what it was, was an opportunity for my grandmother and I to grow closer. I stopped grudgingly doing things because I felt like I had to, and instead did them because I could, and I wanted to. I wanted to make sure she was taken care of.

This mindset change made everything a million times better. I felt empowered, like I had more control (that pesky word lol) in my life. More than that, I feel like the years that followed with her were SUCH a blessing.

A Perfect SELF-CARE SUNDAY Routine

DAY 10

Not so long ago, Sundays were just a countdown to the dreaded Monday for me. It usually meant that these were the last few precious hours of freedom before I had to return to work…or school, or really anything in which my time was not my own.

I’m lucky enough now for things to not feel that way so much anymore; I actually enjoy my job and have a ton of flexibility. But regardless of how great my job is, I don’t think I could approach it with the same mindset and enthusiasm if I wasn’t SUPER intentional with how I spend my Sunday evenings. The day usually goes a little something like this:

• I straighten up the house.
• I buy groceries and flowers.
• I meal prep.
• I take a bath or a more luxurious shower.
• I watch a movie or read
• I make a rough plan for the week

It’s become important to me to purposefully slow down on Sunday’s so that I am properly energized and ready to take Monday head on.

What rituals do you have on your Self-Care Sunday?

CONSEQUENCES Of Your ACTIONS

DAY 9

When I was little, my Dad made it a point to drive in life lessons through daily activities; mainly focusing on accountability and thinking ahead…so if I spent my lunch money on lipgloss, he’d let it be known that I’d be eating baloney sandwiches for the rest of the week. If I didn’t do the dishes when I said I would, no hanging out with my friends. He’d follow all of these moments after laying down my punishment by saying “Consequences Of Your Actions“ in a deep booming voice. I hear that voice to this day.

When I’m up way too late for no reason, knowing full well that I have to get up early the next day, I hear him.

When I spend the day binge-watching Netflix instead of making some headway on projects that are actually important to me….there’s the voice.

Whenever I spend money on things that I probably shouldn’t … CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS. And as annoying as it is, (I mean damn Dad at least my bills are paid), I smile a little each time. I’m confident that voice will never go away. I know that when I have kids I’ll find myself unintentionally using this same phrase That’s a happy thought.

Maybe it’s through the annoying life lessons that we’ve passed down, that we actually manage to live forever.

Things That Break Your HEART But Fix Your VISION

DAY 8

I planned on starting this blog years ago [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], but every time I sat down to plan, something would happen in my life to derail it. This happened so often that I almost came to count on it…like clockwork.

What I’ve come to realize lately though is that life doesn’t get in the way at all. It is the way. We have to take the cards we’ve been dealt, BUT we get to choose what we do with them. My particular set of cards provided me with the story and motivation that when applied properly, can only improve my voice.

In the past few years, I’ve had friendships end. I’ve had family members die. I’ve been burnt out from school, businesses, and career pathing. I ended a 7-year relationship. Every one of these was devastating in its own way and made me feel like I had lost a part of my identity.

I went a long time without recognizing myself in the mirror.

I spent a long time grieving over those lost parts.

Now I recognize that it was a necessary transition. Sometimes you’re forced to let go of what isn’t meant for you. Sometimes you have to lose your past self to become new. Sometimes you have to break your own heart to fix your vision.

The last week of posts leading up to the launch of The House that Elle Built focused on introducing Elle and sharing 7 Intentions I have for this blog.

You can read those intentions below.